Category Archive: Crime

American Hustle

Everyone in America is on the make. Lord, some U.S. Attorneys are in the news more than the Kardashian sisters.

Out of the Furnace

Rating: I am somewhat ashamed that I liked this incredibly morbid film. I wished my psychiatrist hadn’t moved to New Mexico.

The Counselor

Rating: Wrapped around my 5-day murder trial last week I saw Machete Kills and The Counselor. Both are fitting tributes to my client’s massive shortcomings.

Machete Kills

Rating: The only drawback to this film is that any viewer who is Catholic is likely to be denied admission into heaven. Just remember to repeatedly chant as you leave the theater, “Forgive… Continue reading

Captain Phillips

Rating: Whatever your feelings are about this film, let me warn you if you are prone to sea sickness. If so, I’d save your popcorn bag after you finish it.

Prisoners

Rating: I cannot remember seeing a film that is so brutally condemnable as Prisoners. Sergio Leone once directed Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966), and there is nothing… Continue reading

The Family

Rating: Imagine TV’s legendary Rob and Laura Petrie as a vicious mob couple now in the witness protection program. What if Rob had killed Carl Reiner simply because he couldn’t stand his officious… Continue reading

We’re the Millers

Rating: I took Thamer, my 21-year old Saudi exchange student, along with me, and he laughed throughout the film. When in doubt, young men make wonderful spare tires.

2 Guns

Rating: Sooner or later, Hollywood has to learn that even Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg cannot turn artistic shit into cinematic Shinola.

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