The Counselor
Rating: Wrapped around my 5-day murder trial last week I saw Machete Kills and The Counselor. Both are fitting tributes to my client’s massive shortcomings.
Category Archive: Crime
0 Comments
Machete Kills
Rating: The only drawback to this film is that any viewer who is Catholic is likely to be denied admission into heaven. Just remember to repeatedly chant as you leave the theater, “Forgive… Continue reading
Captain Phillips
Rating: Whatever your feelings are about this film, let me warn you if you are prone to sea sickness. If so, I’d save your popcorn bag after you finish it.
Prisoners
Rating: I cannot remember seeing a film that is so brutally condemnable as Prisoners. Sergio Leone once directed Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966), and there is nothing… Continue reading
The Family
Rating: Imagine TV’s legendary Rob and Laura Petrie as a vicious mob couple now in the witness protection program. What if Rob had killed Carl Reiner simply because he couldn’t stand his officious… Continue reading
We’re the Millers
Rating: I took Thamer, my 21-year old Saudi exchange student, along with me, and he laughed throughout the film. When in doubt, young men make wonderful spare tires.
2 Guns
Rating: Sooner or later, Hollywood has to learn that even Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg cannot turn artistic shit into cinematic Shinola.
Now You See Me
Rating: You will have to decide if Now You See Me should have been titled Now You Don’t.
