Venom

I won’t try to explain its box office success any more than Donald Trump being elected to the presidency.

VenomThis movie is a one-dimensional mess that survives because of some great special effects. I will take a back seat to no one concerning my admiration for Tom Hardy, but his half-baked performance in this movie made it all the more disappointing.

I was lured to this film because of Mr. Hardy’s excellent job playing villains in such films as The Dark Knight Rises (2012) and The Revenant (2015). However, when the script is as lousy as the one authored here by Jeff Pinker, Scott Rosenberg and Kelly Marcel, even Mr. Hardy’s enormous talents proved utterly meaningless. Regardless, if you really want to see Mr. Hardy at his best, then go see Lawless (2012), The Drop (2014), Locke (2014), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) and last year’s Dunkirk.

The plot of this cinematic disaster concerns a spaceship that crashed upon returning to earth with several alien forms on board. Let me just describe them as large batches of slippery, oozing silly putty. One escapes and disaster follows.

The remaining aliens are transferred to a laboratory run by a twisted entrepreneur played by Riz Ahmed. As he attempts to combine humans with the aliens, Mr. Hardy stumbles onto the laboratory for reasons that I won’t explain where he naturally becomes part man/part beast.

Possessed by an alien known as “Venom” (how surprising), the two of them develop the ability to talk to one another. This becomes a problem given that Venom’s choice of food is to bite off the heads of humans. This was supposed to represent one of the funny moments of the movie, but it did nothing more than leave me increasingly disenchanted with the entire film.

To be quite frank, I would waste your time to say much about the supporting characters in this movie, as they are mostly irrelevant. In particular, Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate are wasted in their small rolls as Mr. Hardy’s fiancĂ© and a lab scientist who tries to correct the carnage that is taking place. While Mr. Hardy forms a borderline friendship with the parasite possessing his body, the film does little more than drag on from one boring scene to the next for one hour and fifty-two minutes.

Let me conclude by saying that if President Trump has seen this film, this is the one time he would be correct in referring to Hardy’s alien head as “horseface”!