This movie is a messy collection of some periodic good moments.
The best and worst description of Bullet Train comes from my good friend, Dr. K. We saw it together, and he loved the entire film. Having barely tolerated it, I responded, “Thank God you are a better surgeon than a movie critic”!
So, there you have it. The film, two hours long, covers a rapid train ride in Japan. Brad Pitt plays Ladybug, an aging assassin going through therapy. His task to find a suitcase is quickly derailed as he encounters a deranged group of killers that dominate the entire film.
The plot, to the extent that it exists, is irrelevant. With the exception of one female adversary played by Joey King, this is a guy’s movie on and off the screen.
Directed by David Leitch, a former stunt double of Brad Pitt and a co-director of John Wick, the film involves little more than a constant fist fight from one end of the train to the other. The good news is some of the performances were fun to watch even for a cynic like me.
As you might expect, Pitt is the glue that keeps Bullet Train from quickly collapsing. He holds your attention as he repeatedly gets the crap kicked out of him.
On top of that, you will love the performances of Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry, playing two brothers named Tangerine and Lemon. While they are professional assassins like everyone else in this demented film, they prove to be sophisticated thugs with an unintentional sense of humor.
I suppose I should also mention small, borderline forgettable performances from Michael Shannon, Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Channing Tatum. You are left wishing that Director Leitch had spent more time on the fine role of Bad Bunny as the killer known as Wolf and less time on them.
Finally, the film culminates with a madman seeking revenge on most of those who have survived the train’s chaos. In the process, you see many flashbacks into our principal characters past that will leave you wondering if the ending is mercifully near.
So, if you see the film, invoke the spirit of Dr. K and leave me in your rear-view mirror.