F9: The Fast Saga

See below!


As this 2 hour 25 minute film ended, my good friend Dr. Kleinman turned to me and said:

Dr. K: “Hammerle, I have two thoughts. The first is that this was the most absurd film I have ever seen.”

B. H.: “And what was the second observation?”

Dr. K: “I kind of enjoyed it!”

So there you have it. Absurd usually means awful, but there are occasional exceptions. F9 is one of them.

Vin Diesel and John Cena are brothers who are engaged in a battle as Cena seeks to control the world via an altered satellite. I’d say a fight to the death but no one dies in Fast and Furious films.

I’ve seen all nine Fast and Furious movies and few films can master their unbelievable special effects and powerful soundtrack. Scene after scene involves shootings, fights and car chases that distract you from the fact that the film is devoid of a meaningful plot.

Again, despite jumping from high buildings and steep cliffs, no one ever gets injured. Thousands of bullets are fired at Vin and his gang and you never see anyone bleeding. When Tyrese Gibson’s character Roman concludes that they all must be invincible, you can only conclude that he is mocking the viewing audience.

Yet Director Justin Lin distracts your need for a plot with a number of meaningful performances ranging from Michelle (Letty) Rodriquez, Anna (Elle) Sawai, Ludacris (Tej), Helen (Queenie) Mirren, Kurt (Mr. Nobody) Russell and Charlize (Cipher) Theron to name a few. Their collective determination to make the lack of dialogue irrelevant makes you feel you were watching it after consuming L.S.D.

So find the equivalent of a small amount of an hallucinogen and buy a ticket. Discover how a meaningless life can still be rewarding. Oh, and did I say that Ms. Theron may be the most beautiful villain to hit the screen in a long time!